This Sunday Mia will be a month old. Holy shit is all I have to say about that. I can’t believe 4 weeks have already flown by – and more distressing, that only 6 weeks are left until I have to go back to work. I really thought I was going to be able to keep up with this blog AND a baby but that was just delusional. So I’m lowering my blogging standards and just posting whenever Mia takes a particularly long nap and I’m feeling inspired.

If you want more consistent updates you can follow Mia and I on instagram, which I update way more regularly. Our username is Perlgirl8.

So today, since Mia is napping particularly well, I thought I’d answer the question that by far the most people ask (probably because I’m the first of most of my friends to have a baby): What’s it’s like to have a baby/be a mom?

Of course there is no real answer to that question…but what I think its REALLY getting at, is how does your life change when you have a baby…what do you do all day? So to answer that, here is a sample day in the life of Hannah and Mia (and Harley and Dan).

2am: Mia wakes up and wants to eat. I take her out of her rock n’ play and take her into the nursery to change her diaper, and nurse her in the glider.

230am: Mia falls asleep nursing and I put her back in her rock n’ play. Then take out the breast pump, put it together and pump for 15 minutes. This usually yields about 2oz of breast milk which is about 2/3 of a feeding. So frustrating. Pumping sucks. But its a necessary evil if you ever want to leave your baby for more than an hour. (More on breastfeeding and pumping in a future post. Spoiler alert: it’s really hard!)

3am: Wash pump parts, label milk and put it in the fridge. Try to go back to bed.

530am: Mia wakes up and wants to eat again. Beg husband to change her diaper so you can stay in bed. Good hubby brings baby back to bed after diaper change for another feeding. Sometimes she falls asleep nursing and sleeps for another 1.5hrs…sometimes not.

6-7am: Cuddle with Mia in bed, try to get a few more minutes of sleep. Then, bring her upstairs, change her diaper, feed her again, and put her in the swing or bouncy seat so I can shower and wake up.

730am: Take a 5 minute shower. If you take longer, the vibrating mode on the bouncy seat times out and baby starts screeching.

8am: Feed again.

830am: Put Mia in the swing, feed the dog, take the dog outside to pee/poop and then hope she’s still sleeping/content so I can eat.

930am: If Mia is still sleeping, address birth announcements, vacuum living room, wash the huge pile of dishes in the sink or do laundry.

10am: Another feeding. Change diaper and put clothes on baby.

1030am: Wrangle Mia into carseat, put carseat in stroller. Wrangle dog into gentle leader collar – and then take dog and baby for a 2 mile walk.

11am: Go to the bathroom.

1130am: Feed again. Put Mia in the infant gym to play or read her a book.

12noon: Put Mia back in the swing, try to eat lunch. If time, open the mail and pay bills.

1230pm: Pack diaper bag and wrangle Mia back into carseat. Drive to breastfeeding support group (or grocery store or other errand).

1pm-3pm: Breastfeeding support group. During the group attempt to keep baby quiet while other people are talking. Feed, change diapers. Typically experience at least one major diaper blowout, or, most recently, the pee blowout in which she pees all over the mat in between the diaper swap and gets pee IN HER HAIR. Leave class early to come home and bathe pee-soaked baby.

4pm: Dan is home, usually doing yard work. Feed baby again. Pass off baby to Dan so I can try to nap. Never works though.

5pm: Cuddle with baby, try to keep her calm during “the witching hour” when she typically cries the most/no matter what. Mia begins cluster feeding (feedings every hour or sometimes even more frequently).

6-8pm: Feeding pretty much constantly. Dan makes dinner and Mia goes in the swing for long enough that I can eat.

8pm: Give Mia a bath, change her diaper and put her in PJs.

830pm: Hand off baby to Dan while I brush my teeth, put on PJs and get set up in bed to nurse.

845-915pm: Nurse Mia to sleep. Put her in the rock n play, and try to fall asleep as quickly as possible. Dan takes Harley out to pee.

2am (or earlier): Start over again.

So if you didn’t already notice, being a mom of a newborn involves mostly nursing, changing diapers, and trying to find time to pee and eat. My penchant for sarcasm and dry humor, however, probably skews this schedule a little negative. So all soon-to-be or someday-will-be moms should take it all with a grain of salt. And while sometimes it does suck taking care of a baby – it really is a labor of love. There are moments that are hard, painful, boring and/or frustrating/anxiety producing…but then there are also the moments that you pick up your screaming baby and she immediately calms and then falls asleep in your arms and your hearts literally melts into a big puddle. It’s also worth mentioning that my experience is probably 100% different than the next person. So really, this blog post is useless unless your curious about what Mia and I specifically are doing all day. And the answer is nursing. And pooping. Speaking of which…