Whenever something bad happens to someone, somebody always chimes in with “why do bad things always happen to such good people?” Usually it’s me because I’m the worst at knowing what to say to people when bad things happen.
I think people say this to make the person feel better that even though something awful happened to them, someone somewhere considers them a good person.
Or maybe they’re trying to make them feel better by insinuating that since something bad happened to them they are therefore a good person.
But the unfortunate (fortunate?) reality is that bad things happen to all people. And the laws of statistics state that at least some of those people will be good people. And we’ll feel worse about it because they don’t deserve it. As if anybody deserves bad things to happen to them.
One of my friends just found out she has cancer.
She’s 30. She has a 1 year old son. She’s literally the nicest person ever – especially when you stack her up against someone as judgmental and sarcastic as myself.
Cancer is like that, though. It doesn’t care. It doesn’t care how nice or how fit or how smart you are. It doesn’t even care how rich you are – which makes it pretty unique as far as bad things go. It doesn’t care if you’re 80 or 30 or have a new baby or a new love or nobody to love at all.
It just happens.
Bad things happen to people. And the only thing we can do is hold their hand (literally, or figuratively) and just be. Be there to listen, to cry, to eat donuts, to act normal, to act crazy, to wash dishes, to pour wine. To pour more wine.
I’m the worst at knowing what to say when bad things happen. So this time I’ll try not to say anything at all, and just be there.
I’m here, if you need me.
On Tuesday my close friend will undergo surgery to declare war on her cancer. She’s tough as nails but if you could spare a hug, a prayer, a healing vibe – all would be greatly appreciated. Please keep her and her family in your thoughts and prayers.