Parents make a lot of sacrifices for their kids. I knew this going into it and was at least moderately prepared to not sleep, give up alcohol for 9 months, and have yet another person continuously trying to suck on my nipples. But I was not prepared for camping. I mean, I did plenty of [...]
Category: Humor
Everything You Never Knew You Needed to Know about Parenting (until you really need to know)
One of my least appealing qualities as a person is the number of mom groups I belong to on Facebook. Seriously it's embarrassing. I am what "people who are in a lot of mom groups on Facebook" refer to as a lurker. I pretty much never post, rarely respond, but often roll my eyes at [...]
The Annual Christmas Photo Fiasco: 2018 Edition
Welp, here we are again. Standing outside of the Picture People at Sears having a giant crying screaming tantrum. It's become an annual tradition and honestly I was little nervous this year that the kids were going to be old enough to behave and the whole ordeal would be simple, boring and totally un-blog-worthy. Hahahahahahaha. [...]
On camping with toddlers, and other circles of hell.
Last weekend, against my better judgement, I went camping. I knew from the beginning it was going to be a total shitshow, because that's basically the definition of camping. But my husband was all - we're making memories with our kids - and I was all - we really can't afford to take them anywhere [...]
I’m Trying to Be a Better Mom and My Kids are Trying to Sabotage Me
So I haven't written on here in forever. It's probably because I stopped going to therapy since I can't afford it (isn't America great?!) and so I'm way less self-reflective these days (which is a nice way of saying self-involved) and have been pretty much in maintenance (survival?) mode for the past 4 months. I [...]
The Annual Mall Photo Fiasco
Every year my sister-in-law and I take the kids to the mall for Christmas pictures. This is because we (or least I) am a self-hating narcissist. In the past we've made critical errors like attempting an outfit change during the session, scheduling the shoot during nap time, or taking the kids while they were toddlers. And [...]
Adventures in Power Outages with Toddlers
This past week there was a wind storm in Maine. The always over-reacting meteorologists told us there would "definitely be power outages." Yada yada yada. So we filled up some water bottles, considered running the dishwasher, and then decided, nah - it's only half full. We dug out a flashlight or two, and then we [...]
True Love: 5 Years Later
Today Dan and I have been married for 5 years. If you're wondering what five years of marriage looks like it starts with being woken up at 5:49am by two toddlers, yelling at them for an hour and 15 minutes to put their socks on, before being late to work, and then leaving early to [...]
Things My Dad Taught Me
My therapist tried to comfort me last week by telling me that it was important for my kids to see my faults and weaknesses. Learning that your parents are in fact human, he assured me, is easier to stomach in small measured doses, rather than a giant paradigm shift in those developmentally sensitive preteen years. [...]
Blame it on the Millennials
I can't wait until my 40's. I know I know, you're not supposed to wish away time. But by then my kids will be able to wipe their own asses, my student loans will be paid off, and I'll have 4 weeks vacation at my work. I might even have more money in my 401k [...]