Oh my poor blog, I have totally ignored you for the past, well, over a month. I’ve been busy tending to a sick toddler, being sick myself, panicking that Dan will get sick, and finding back up care for daycare when all the other kids are sick. Seriously, I think we’ve spent 90% of this winter dealing with sickness.

And I am so done.

Last week Dan and I had a serious conversation about moving to San Diego. We discussed selling our house, browsed Monster.com for new jobs and even peeked around at apartments in various SoCal neighborhoods. That’s how done we are with winter. (Verdict: we are too poor and too lazy to deal with the logistical nightmare of moving across the country. Maybe next winter.)

We also went on a vacation to Florida, which, at once amplified our dream of moving to a warm weather locale, and also solidified our beliefs that we just couldn’t handle it. Where can we move that is rural and cheap and has nice weather and nice drivers? Also no traffic and good schools? Helloooooo? Anybody out there?

Anyway, all kidding aside, we had a great vacation in Florida. Aside from a rocky start involving a narrowly missed airline connection and near miss fist-fight with a gate agent – we had an incredible time that involved lots of swimming, water sliding, eating, and grandparents babysitting. THE BEST EVER.

Also during this past month I became obsessed with Ikea. Yes, the store. My whole life I sort of imagined I’d been there before…it’s the kind of place everyone talks about so you think you’ve been but believe me YOU WOULD KNOW IF YOU’VE BEEN because Ikea is like no other store in the entire world.

I know some of you are thinking…oh, right, the place that sells cheap crap made out of particle board that takes forever to put together. And you would be right, sort of. Ikea has seriously upped their game in the particle board department. Many of their new items are made out of legit materials – but they still sell for dirt cheap which makes it a bargain hunter’s heaven.

But it’s not just the stuff that makes Ikea amazing. It’s the store itself. The closest one to our house is 2 hours away in Stoughton, MA – a town which has absolutely nothing going for it except that it’s home to Ikea. I carpooled down there with two of my coworkers one Sunday and we were so giddy about the trip you would have thought we were middle schoolers on the way to a One Direction concert. We even brought popcorn. We spent over 3 hours in the store…and could have stayed for 3 more if we didn’t run out of money.

See, Ikea is like the Apple of the home goods market. They’ve thought through every logistical aspect of their entire store/design down to having little carts to carry multiple lunch trays in the cafeteria (yes, there is a cafeteria) so you don’t have to balance 2 trays on your arm while dragging a screaming child away from the french fry bin.

Which brings me to Ikea trip #2 that occurred about 3 weeks later with Dan and Mia. And that’s where it all went wrong. If there is one thing you should never, ever do in an Ikea it’s go there with your small child. No no no no no no no. Mia was so unimpressed with Dan and my desire to spend 30 minutes discussing kitchen wall storage options that she stood up in the cart, knocked over a pile of flatware organizers, threw her yogurt tube on the pile, and then fell back down, dramatically hitting her head on the side of the cart. The magic was ruined. We hauled ass through the remainder of the store, bitching all the way, then chased Mia through the warehouse, luring her back to the car with fruit snacks.

Trip #3 is already in the works. Just waiting for that winning lottery ticket so I can buy more stuff and force Dan to spend the remainder of his weekend putting it together.

Oh, and before I go…I’ll leave you with this amusing video of Harley learning to walk on the treadmill. We recently hired the dog whisperer to come to our house and tell Harley to take a chill pill when it comes to greeting people at the door, and greeting other dogs on walks. I thought maybe he would just, you know, whisper to her – but instead he told us to get her a treadmill. A treadmill for the dog.

I managed to scrounge one up for free from a yard sale site and now Harley is on her way to becoming the fittest dog/person in our house. She’s up to 30 minutes on the treadmill at a time – followed by her regular run or walk outside. She also wears this sexy backpack for toning purposes. Just kidding. Sort of.

Anyway, here’s to warmer weather and fewer sick days to come. Dan thinks he can will Spring to fruition by hiking in shorts in 37 degrees and snow. Hope it works!